You may be thinking she is only in her twenties, what would she regret in her life? Well, the truth is no matter how old you are there is always going to be something you look back on and think you could have done it differently. If you don’t, then you have had a very lucky life. Not that I have had a bad life, it has been really good but, there are things I would change.
Youth is blunder; Manhood a struggle, Old age a regret
– Benjamin Disrach
Here is my list of six things I regret not doing:
1. Telling People What I Really Think-
Sometimes I have kept my mouth shut to my benefit, whether to avoid a confrontation or simply because I didn’t want to get involved in the first place. Opposingly, there have been times I’ve opened my mouth and would love to keep it shut now…not many but some. But I do regret not always telling people what I think because maybe I would have avoided dramas, or could be in a completely different place to what I am now. For me, this realisation socially only came a few years ago but, I wish it would have happened earlier.
2. A Smaller Social Circle-
I know most people probably wanted a larger social circle but, I always wonder now if I hadn’t coasted through school and had a larger social group, if would be close to people from secondary now. You see my close friends are a small group from university of about five people. And it is drama-free and pretty chilled group of people. I wish I had that earlier on.
3. Healthier Routines & Habits Earlier On-
If I had only gotten healthier habits and routines earlier like less fizzy pop and sweets and exercised a little bit more, I think it would have been easier to get into it later on. Currently, I am on a little hiatus whilst I get my health fixed but I wonder if I had kept on with athletics and running what I would be doing now? What I would have took at university?
4. Buying More Books…
I own around seventy already but, I would definitely buy more if I could. And expand my reading circle even more. Instead of reading a few classics such as Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray or Bram Stoker’s Dracula alongside my supernatural favourites and fantasy books, I would read more classics or expand my reading circle even more. But, I would definitely buy more.
5. Getting Out Of My Comfort Zone-
Had I gotten out of my comfort zone earlier on, I would have probably taken more chances much earlier in my life. This could be in applying for jobs, sticking with a club or sport, taken a year out before university or even going on holiday more. It may have led to a completely different life path than now but, I don’t think so. This is because I’m relatively happy with life now.
6. Getting Rid Of My Junk Earlier-
I collected a lot when I was younger and I didn’t get rid of it. When it came to sorting my room out for a new bed, it took a week to sort through the stuff and TWO people. That is a lot of stuff. Truthfully, I wish I had been cleaner and organised earlier. It would have been a lot less stress, and a simpler life.
Recently I produced a blog post writing an open letter to my younger self. This has myself thinking. What do I want to remember from now? What would I tell my future self? And so, here is a letter to my future self. Everything I want to say, know and do.
To Future Steph,
I have a few questions… Are flying cars real yet? Have we successfully built artificial intelligence? Who’s running the country…a robot? How’ve we done in life? Okay, I’ll stop asking, if we still have the same personality I know you want me to slow down. We are currently in our twenty-second-year of life… nearly twenty three, and we’ve finally decided what we want to do with life so, overall we are doing pretty well. And I hope we are still kicking arse now! With family, with work, with life in general.
So, it has been a pretty stressful time for us over the last few years but, we’re finally coming out of the other side. We graduated- dressed fabulously I might add, we have got a job and we are happy. I hope you still are. I just want to say that although there are things that may get you down in life- if you just stand your ground and believe in yourself we can do anything. I think we are doing pretty amazingly now. Oh, I thought of another question…has our brothers taste in music changed? Does he like classics such as AC/DC and not that stuff with beats and no lyrics….. If it hasn’t we need to do something stat.
Right, we are going on our first girls holiday soon to Barcelona and it will be beautiful and gorgeous. How are the girls? And who was the first one to have kids? We’ll be taking plenty of pictures to look back on so, if you forget about the adventure, there will be reminders. Oh, does Facebook still exist? As you can tell, we are still chatty and inquisitive but, I don’t expect that to change. Just remember to continue asking the hard questions, that will get you far in life. You are doing pretty good now I believe.
We are still keeping fit, standing our ground and trying to excel in life here. It’s the best way to achieve our goals. We’ve set a few new ones this year such as this very blog’s increasing traffic, and getting healthy, baking more for everyone and getting better. You know it is our year. WE DID THIS. Do we have loads of dogs? I think we do. If I know me! It is something we talk about and of course, we have more tattoos. If there is some way you can psychically tell me what we choose, I’ll get right on that. We are planning on two more tattoos this year at least. How big? And where? Well, we aren’t that far ahead just yet. We’ll figure it out.
How is the family? Is dad still embarrassing us with his dad dancing? I had a taster today and I’m scarred for life. You are probably still feeling the affect of that… I’m sorry, we should have closed our eyes. Is mum still baking bread and cakes? Or are they just travelling the world in their little motorhome while we worry? Currently, it looks like family life is getting back on track which is brilliant. Just remember- 1,2,3,4….7,8,9,10. Oh and if you want a laugh then just remember a few weeks ago when dad did a celebratory dance because he got the word ’emoji’ on Countdown. He’s probably still as competitive now. We are a few weeks into the six nations. Of course, you know the result so just send those positive vibes to the England rugby teams for us. Your the best.
Anyway, I think that’s enough for now. Although, we will talk again.
It is a fact of life- when we were younger, less experienced and innocent- a child we all imagined what life would be like. Who we would be when we grow up, who would stay in our lives and who would disappear. And nine times out of ten we all wished we could grow up faster. I’m 22, an adult-in-training and if I could go back to my younger self now there are things I would tell her. So, I’ve decided to write an open letter to myself. And maybe we should all do this. Is there anything you would have done differently or people you wished you’d have given more time too. The open letter is one way to get all of that out. Here goes…
To a redhead, blue eyed, freckled care-free yougster,
I’m here to tell you a few things. First off, that attitude you’re sporting at home is not impressive and in about a years time you’ll suddenly mellow out and wonder what all the fuss was about. If I could go back, I’d still push the same boundaries but not so loudly. However, I would thank you for this because without learning from that attitude I wouldn’t be able to harness the same confidence for job interviews, getting through university and meeting some amazing people. But we could have toned it down a bit.
Secondly, you’ll eventually get your own room at eight/nine so just put up with sharing for a little longer…He’s not that bad. Although, the trick of dumping his mess in his bed was the best thing ever because he always tidied up and it still works now. Maybe you could have gotten rid of some of the clutter before hand though because it took myself and mum a week to do when we finally sorted through everything. It was a pain and at heart we were all ready into the simplistic look so do yourself a favour and keep on top of the clutter instead of getting stressed.
And finally, embrace your hair. We are stuck with this for life so, just embrace it. The colour, the curls because now people try and dye their hair this colour and can’t. So, when someone teases you about your hair simply reply with “And? Your issue is…” That puts off the kids if they don’t know it bothers you. Also you are currently growing it out so you can wear you long, thick curly hair down more…so maybe tell mum you don’t want it cutting short that would have helped a lot. It’s a pain to grow now. Also, you are going to start to straighten it in secondary school so, it isn’t all bad. And when you start putting lowlights in and straightening it- nan does complain but you’ll carry on doing it regardless and she liked it actually once you didn’t put as many in.
Okay, so we’ve just started really getting into secondary school and focusing on studying. The first thing I’m going to tell you is that it is alright not to know what you want to do in life. As a kid, we wanted to be a load of things;
Nurse:Mum and dad can attest to the fact that this should not be your career choice. They had the bruises to prove it.
Teacher:You don’t have the patience for it. I remember getting bored every five minutes and wanting to do something else. Well you have more patience but if you do teach it would probably be at college level because you’ve now turned into one of those adults who can’t believe the mouth on young kids these days.
Athlete: So you fell down some stairs and that put a stop to that. But it’s all good because we like to go for a run now as it is a great de-stressing tool. Plus, by stopping the athletics you got to try out new things. For a start, you became more girly for a while. But, it’s all good because you’ve now settled on somewhere in between a girly girl and a tomboy.
And many other careers… But, at 22 we’ve finally made a decision. So it’s time to start trying to get into that. However, rest assured that you are young, we are still young and can try as many things out as possible. Life is not about money, it is about experiencing things, memory making and having fun.
We finally got that bookshelf and the double bed after years of asking. So it pays off. However, that book shelf is nearly full so the dream of owning a home with a library in one day may become a reality because we won’t be throwing away books anytime soon. The only thing we would probably change now is not asking for two colours in our room because as much as I still like blue and purple, turquoise was then and still is our favourite colour. And would probably match the curtains, carpet and bedding much better. Also, don’t put posters up…you get bored after a few months and now both the walls and doors are bare except for the faint marks of blue tack.
Thirdly, embrace the clumsiness. You not only fell down some stair aged 14 which resulted in a trip to the hospital, eight-twelve weeks of recovery and causing your mum stress on her day off but, the falling is going to happen a lot and you’ll always have bruises to prove it. Just last year, you damaged your ankle again which resulted in some very good friends convincing me to go to the hospital again but the year before that you couldn’t run for four weeks after hurting your knee while running. I’d say don’t push things when it comes to injury, don’t be stubborn but we still are now which gave mum and dad a lot of stress last summer.
Finally, you are now and were then a huge geek. With a love of action adventure films, marvel films, Doctor Who and many other sci-fi/ fantasy books, films and tv shows you aren’t exactly into the girly love films. You will sit and watch a few but they really aren’t your cup of tea. So, when you were putting on all that makeup, straightening your hair and attempting to fit in…well that is what sets you apart from others now. Basically, you should embrace your uniqueness because it’ll be much easier down the line and you’ll meet some amazing friends with the some of the same and different tastes as you.
You know when your parents tell you- you don’t stay friends with everyone in life? You should have listened much earlier. All the stress could have been avoided. In life, we don’t get on with everyone and if you’d have realised that sooner well a lot could have been avoided. Overall, if you hadn’t have gone through this though well, I don’t think I’d be the person I am now. It reminded me of myself, the person I liked who exuded confidence, embraced challenges and loved life and well, we are that person and more now. This doesn’t go without saying that some of the people you meet over these few years won’t still be in your life, and other still are and these are the people who are there for you no matter what. Just remember there are still those childhood friends who you still talk to, and even when you are busy know you will still be there. A click away.
You’ve applied for university and are waiting to get in. Well, you do. And we’ve just graduated with a 1.1 class honours degree so, we did something right. It is something to be proud of so as you make those difficult decisions, expel the negative energy and start to see your grades rise? Well you made the right decision. Be proud of getting an offer from all five universities, be proud of improving with your overall grade every year and be proud of achieving such an amazing result because it’s all us. We did it!
And finally, at 22 we are still an adult in training. We moved out for university which was the best decision in the end. At 22, we are still growing so don’t feel at 18+ that this is now the time you need to know everything in life. Because all that pressure isn’t good for anyone. Achieve the goals you set for yourself like you have so far. We’ve lost that weight, we run regularly, we eat healthily, we have some amazing friends and we are well on our way to becoming an amazing adult. Although, the best adults are those who never really grew up, the one with their inner child still joking about and laughing.
Still a redhead, blue eyed, freckled, but experienced slightly older youngster….
I got the idea for this post from a friend. We met for out new year catch-up as work schedules will make it difficult the next few weeks. It seemed like the theme of the day was having a clear out- of toys, of friends who don’t bother, of clothes. And that got me thinking- every year we talk about having a clear out but, how many of us do it? This ties in with a tweet I read recently. The poster said:
“Everyone talking about the people and things they are cutting off for 2018…I’ll cut you off as and when you deserve it…not a problem…bye.”
“If you spring clean your life of negative people or energy all year round you…never be miserable…”
And a facebook status wherein a completely different person posted a similar sentiment about not needing the beginning of the year to change? But, I’m not agreeing or disagreeing. I do set myself new year resolutions to follow and attempt to keep to them throughout the year. I just found it symbiotic that as I was wondering what to post about, the idea of a clear out in whatever shape or form kept coming up. Even in my family home, mum is on a mission to clear out and declutter. So, here goes.
Today I started with my own little clear out. For people who know me, and have lived with me- I like cleanliness, I don’t like clutter which is evident in the fact that my room is extremely tidy. Not a thing out of place. No little bits and bobs just laying around. Everything out has a purpose, something I use regularly. Every year at the beginning BECAUSE of all the new stuff we end up getting as I begin to put them away, I have a sort through. I may find a few hidden treasures and I throw other bits away. For me, this is good. As the saying goes “tidy room, tidy mind”.
Then again, I understand the idea to declutter your life. Even if you need a deadline to start it? Not everyone is as brave or as confident in themselves to declutter their own lives whether it be people, tackling your houses, tackling memories etc. The idea behind the clear out is a fresh start and with the new year just beginning people like to start afresh then and make a year of it. This way is gives them time. I can see the association between decluttering and the new year, new me stuff.
We’ve all been there. There comes a time wherein you may leave someone, something, or somewhere behind and it can be a great success (it was for me, I didn’t wait till the beginning of a year though) or it can be a failure. But, the new year brings a fresh start for a lot of people and it’s what they do in that year that defines them. So whatever you are decluttering, I hope you succeed. I hope it starts you on a new journey. And most of all, I hope it gives you peace of mind. In my own instance, I succeeded in life, I started a new journey and decluttering throughout the year always provides me peace of mind.
I’m going to end with a quote.
“Happiness is a place between too little & too much”- Finnish Proverb